the age of hypersensitivity

why are we so offended by everything? a rant.

A quick note: I'm just writing this to vent my frustration, not to offer solutions because honestly, there aren't any. If there were, we wouldn’t still be like this. The only real way forward is for each and every one of us to recognize it first and work on it ourselves. (but too arrogant and missing a few brain cells for that)

We’re living in a time where sensitivity to words, ideas, and opinions is at an all-time high and the impact is obvious: meaningful public discourse is falling apart. It’s no longer just about disagreeing, It’s now often spirals into accusations of offence, harsh labels and even social exclusion.

This hypersensitivity is evident across social media platforms, in workplaces and even on Substack. In fact, that’s what triggered me to write this in the first place. I observe a lot—while I rarely post my own notes, I always keep an eye on the discussions happening here. You'll see someone sharing their excitement over reaching xxx subscriber count, only to find someone else commenting that Substack has become just another social media platform obsessed with numbers instead of creating art??? (umm okay)

So, that day I came across a note where a guy (you can already guess how this ends) commented with some “advice” or an “explanation” related to the note. But instead of engaging in a discussion, he was accused of “mansplaining.” I’m just dumb or not chronically online enough because seriously, what even is that?! His comment was completely harmless!!! People are way too quick to react (overreact). I was taken aback myself. Then he replied with a “fuck you.” Honestly, I can’t even blame him. I would be pissed too.

But how did we, as “a society” get here? Why is it that “every word” must be carefully measured to avoid the inevitable backlash? Why is there even a backlash?

Like, think about it. Out of all the species in the animal kingdom, we’re the only ones who invented languages. And instead of using them to communicate better, we somehow manage to fight over them. How crazy is it that something we created to connect can also end up “offending” someone’s feelings?!

It feels like everywhere you look, people are on edge. I mean, minor comments get totally blown out of proportion and whole groups can get vilified over one person’s words. Hypersensitivity is basically the default now. If you aren’t offended over minor things you are the odd one out. The online world seems set up for offense, turning conversations into a game of walking on eggshells instead of actually exchanging ideas.

But it’s not just an online thing—sensitivity is heightened offline too. People hesitate to share their true thoughts, worried about being labeled or misunderstood. And if you dare to speak out against the grain, there are real (very real) consequences. It feels like we’ve lost our ability to handle differing opinions, and the question we all need to ask ourselves is: Why?

From an evolutionary standpoint, humans have always been wired to react to threats—whether they’re physical or emotional. Take sensitivity to social rejection, for example; it was crucial for survival in early human communities. If you got kicked out of your group, your chances of surviving plummeted. This sensitivity and awareness of social standing helped us form tight-knit, cooperative groups. But in today’s world, it feels like this ancient instinct has been hijacked and misused.

Today, the “threats” we face aren’t lions or rival tribes but words and opinions. Our brains are still wired with that built-in sensitivity to social rejection but the stakes are way lower. Yet, our bodies don’t really know the difference between a physical threat and a perceived social one. That’s why we often have intense emotional reactions to things like a critical tweet or an opposing opinion on social media.

Our emotional sensitivity is controlled by the amygdala, the part of the brain that processes emotions like fear, anger and anxiety. For hypersensitive ones, studies show that the amygdala tends to be more active, leading to stronger emotional reactions to perceived slights or offenses. This hyperactivity makes people feel attacked even when there’s no real threat around.

Adding to this is the role of cortisol, the stress hormone. When someone feels attacked or judged, their brain releases cortisol, which makes them more defensive and less able to think rationally. This is why online debates can escalate so quickly—people end up reacting emotionally instead of logically. It’s a physiological response that, in today’s world, tends to cause more harm than good.

While our brains are wired for sensitivity, culture has cranked it up to new extremes (that’s why I’m not all “embrace our culture” type of a person). Social media platforms reward outrage. Posts that spark the strongest reactions, whether positive or negative (and let’s be real, usually negative)—get the most attention. This creates an incentive to take offence because “offence” drives engagement. (checkmate)

On top of that, we’re living in a time when personal identity is always under scrutiny. Movements focused on identity politics, social justice and awareness have done a lot of good by elevating marginalized voices but they’ve also, unintentionally, created an environment where people are constantly policing language and intent. The result??? Everyone’s on edge, just waiting to attack or be attacked at any moment.

It’s like we’ve totally forgotten how to have conversations that embrace nuance, gray areas and differing opinions. If you don’t stick to the “acceptable” narrative, you get slapped with labels like “harmful” or the ever popular “hater.” Instead of fostering understanding, we’re breeding fear of saying the “wrong” thing or even just thinking it.

Social media algorithms are designed to feed us more of what we already believe, which just reinforces our worldview and creates echo chambers. When we finally encounter an idea or opinion that’s outside our bubble, it feels way more “threatening” because we’re not used to hearing different perspectives (what a sad world we’re living in right?) This sets off a cycle where people get more entrenched in their views, making them even more likely to be offended by anything that contradicts their beliefs. I mean, even on Substack if I write something that contradicts popular beliefs, the post just flops. But if I titled a post 'Men Are Trash' oh boy, I’d be the next big thing on Substack. Just kidding!!!

Yeah, so the anonymity and distance the internet provides make it super easy to react impulsively and emotionally. Without that face-to-face communication, it’s way harder to read intent, leading to misunderstandings and snap judgments. In a way, the internet strips away the humanity from conversations, turning them into battles of ideology instead of genuine discussions between people.

When people are too afraid to speak their minds, meaningful dialogue just fades away. We stop listening to each other and start reacting instead. Every conversation turns into a battleground of who's “right” and who's “wrong”, rather than a space for exchanging ideas. The outcome??? A world where no one talks, and everyone just shouts.

Fun (or not so fun) fact: “right” and “wrong” are constructed concepts. They can differ from person to person, so no one is obliged to think that what you believe is “right” is right or that your idea of “wrong” is wrong. That’s why having conversations and being open minded is so important!!!

Also, The need to be seen as “right,” “woke” or on the “correct” side of history often takes precedence over having a thoughtful conversation. And while this hypersensitivity might feel “empowering” to those who wield it, it ultimately weakens public discourse and makes it way harder for us to tackle real problems.

Can we break this cycle of hypersensitivity? (impossible). It’s not about ignoring real issues or becoming apathetic to injustice, it’s about learning to engage in conversations without instantly jumping to offense. We need to train ourselves to pause before reacting and to listen before judging…

On a societal level, we need to create spaces—both online and offline where people feel safe to voice their opinions without the fear of being attacked. This doesn’t mean allowing harmful or abusive speech but recognizing that not every disagreement is an attack. We need to reclaim our ability to listen, disagree and communicate without taking every word as a “personal attack” (like you are not that special and please drop the main character syndrome). It’s time to recognize that while offense is sometimes inevitable, it doesn’t have to be the end of the conversation. Instead, it can be the start of a deeper understanding, if we’re willing to listen.

I mean, I was the “drama queen” of my circle—I get mad super quick and feel irritated when someone voices an opinion that goes against my beliefs. I’ve even broken a new phone out of anger before. So, NO. I’m not a saint in this case but I’m working on it. Also, I was in shambles just like everyone else because of that one post from

Emily Sundberg

. It was so embarrassing because she wasn’t even calling anyone out—just sharing her observations and opinions!!! But for some reason, I got all butthurt. Why? No idea. And, trust me I still cringe at myself for how I reacted that day. Excuse me for that.

But can we talk about how this insanity is seeping into our real lives for a sec? From romantic relationships to work environments, celebrity culture and even politics and religion, overreaction is becoming the standard response to anything that triggers even the slightest discomfort. What used to be topics open for dialogue have turned into minefields where one wrong move can lead to a total breakdown in communication.

In romantic relationships, overreacting has become one of the biggest killers of communication. It’s like “Communication? What’s that? My partner should just be a mind reader, duh.” Like girl?!!!

I’ve seen it all, okay? The term “red flag” gets thrown around if one partner doesn’t do what the other’s does. Oh, shocker people have different personalities?! I can’t even get into it, it’s a total circus. Relationships have turned into this mind-reading game and if you fail at that, suddenly you’re a walking “red flag”. Like, get lost! Communication has practically become forbidden at this point.

It’s like we’re losing the ability to talk things out like mature adults and instead, we’re just replacing healthy communication with accusations and assumptions. It’s a ticking time bomb that wrecks the intimacy needed for a relationship to grow.

And, the workplace is increasingly becoming a place where people are way too sensitive to feedback or criticism. This is super problematic because a healthy work environment relies on open communication and constructive criticism (sorry for cursing, it’s become a bad word now). Instead of addressing issues head-on, managers and coworkers are tiptoeing around each other to avoid triggering someone’s defensiveness or bruising an ego. A tiny misunderstanding? OMG. The next day, it’s all “I’m leaving this job for my self-respect!!” Another term is misused. (But that’s a whole other post for another day)

This happens because instead of separating our professional selves from our personal feelings, we end up taking everything to heart and reacting emotionally.

This hypersensitivity is making it tougher for people to grow in their careers. If you can’t handle criticism, how can you expect to improve? The fear of being called out, misunderstood or accidentally stepping on someone’s toes has led to a workplace culture where giving feedback or offering a different perspective feels like walking a tightrope. We’re losing the ability to accept constructive criticism with grace, which ultimately leads to dissatisfaction in our jobs.

You know, there’s this thing in the scientific community called “peer review.” Basically, every theory you come up with gets checked out by your peers in the field. Even the Albert Einstein had to have his theories reviewed by others!!! It's how all those papers get published. It really shows that we humans need other people's opinions to grow and evolve. I mean, there’s no way one individual could’ve taken modern humans to where we are now. It takes a whole group of people bouncing ideas off each other. Sure, some people are going to agree and some are going to disagree. But it’s only when you pay attention to both sides and really listen that you can make it.

Just think about it: if back in the day everyone had just sulked around out of pride or whatever, we wouldn't even be here. Like I said before, since we don’t have a ton of reasons to just survive, we often get bored and too sensitive, wasting time on petty stuff and nonsense.

Now, Celebrities have always been idolized but these days, fans overreaction is off the charts. (just look at K-pop fans or Swifties) Like, heaven forbid someone criticizes a celebrity. How dare you, right? I read this popular piece from

jade hurley 💌

the other day that had “some” people pissed. Like, are you that deep in a parasocial relationship? Why are you getting so mad? Can’t people just share their opinions?

Criticizing your favorites is still just an opinion, not some kind of personal attack. Celebrities aren’t gods, they’re humans just like you and me. Just because they’re “pretty” doesn’t mean they’re above critique (let's be real, if they weren’t conventionally attractive, you probably wouldn’t be defending them so hard). If someone does something harmful, they should definitely be called out. And if someone just wants to share their thoughts about a celebrity, they totally should be able to! At the end of the day, we’re the consumers, so we have a right to express our opinions. (and even if you’ve only streamed their song once on spotify or whatever, you’re still throwing a coin in their pocket)

Also, if a celebrity says something slightly off, makes a mistake or shares an unpopular opinion, fans just lose it! I mean, look at Doja Cat (she is an icon for that).

And honestly, from a logical standpoint, she’s got a point. Like, she’s not holding a gun to your head making you listen to her. These delusions have got to stop.

And don’t even get me started on her new concept for her recent album “Scarlet”. People were tearing her apart left and right. But for real? That album was a total *chefs kiss* I’m all about embracing change and creativity and she nailed it. These days, it's all about ‘my body this, my body that’, ‘i’m horny’ like we get it!!! But where’s the fresh perspective or art? When someone actually brings something new to the table, they’re treated like trash. Because their creativity hurt your feelings? Like, make it make sense.

But yeah, she got canceled after that. It’s funny how “cancel culture” has just taken over. Like, one tiny misstep and boom! You’re facing a full-on social media takedown. Fans expect their idols to be perfect like, can we just chill for a second? When those flawless expectations aren’t met, it’s like they feel personally betrayed. The delusion!!! They’re allowed to mess up and change their minds without a million people jumping down their throats. It's all just so over the top sometimes.

This hypersensitivity is in how fans interact with each other too. Stan culture has become this crazy breeding ground where fans will turn on anyone who dares to disagree with their view of a celebrity. Seriously, you can’t even have a conversation about a public figure without risking a mob coming for you because you don’t share the majority opinion.

Pause for a sec! Grab a snack or take a breather, we’re almost there <3

And here comes the elephant in the room: Politics and Religion. These topics have always been sensitive. Now more than ever. People are just terrified to discuss them. What even is a “sensitive topic”? Are we 5th graders or something? The classic advice is, “Don’t talk about politics or religion at the dinner table,” but why not? Are we really so incapable of having a civilized conversation that we think it’ll end in a full-on shouting match?

I mean, are we so fragile that we can’t handle a difference in belief without turning into wild animals? Even animals know how to behave when they realize something isn’t a threat. It’s like you can’t even question ideologies or religions anymore. In some places, you could get locked up for it. Where’s the freedom of speech in that? (only with terms and conditions applied? lol)

Honestly, I think the real reason behind all this is about losing power and being met with reality (which we all hate so much because at the end of the day “delulu is the solulu”). It’s like some people are so scared of losing control that they’ll do anything to shut down conversations. You’re either on “my side” or you’re the enemy. Like, where’s the room for a middle ground? This over-sensitivity in political and religious chats has completely stripped away the possibility of nuance. People are so emotionally tied to their beliefs that any differing opinion is seen as a personal attack on their identity. No wonder meaningful conversations never happen and probably never will.

It’s like one group shouts at another, calling them “evil” but when that other group gives them a taste of their own medicine, suddenly they play the victim. The hypocrisy?! Honestly, these are the kinds of topics that made me quit social media. There's just so much unfairness and so many hypocrites and there’s no room for civilized discussion. There’s no such thing as actually listening to other people's views. It’s like there’s no interest in understanding why the group you “hate” so much think the way they do.

(one of the reasons aliens haven’t contacted us yet is that they probably look down at us and think we’re still a bunch of primitive animals.)

By dodging these “sensitive” topics, we’re not really protecting ourselves, we’re just making ourselves weaker and dumber. We’re totally missing out on chances to grow, challenge our ideas and really understand where others are coming from. Like, the real question is: Are you so insecure in your beliefs that you can’t even handle a conversation about them? If that’s the case, then the issue isn’t the topic itself, it’s our inability to communicate.

When I think about it, this hypersensitivity thing might be more of a Western thingy because here, it does nothing for you. Like, overreacting and getting all worked up over petty stuff just because your ego took a hit? Nope, that won’t get you anywhere. In my place, even if something’s harmful emotionally, nobody cares. It’s like barking into the void.

Here, people still think dark skin is “dirty” and women are expected obey men. Gender roles are alive and kicking and you can get judged for just existing. You have to follow strict rules about how to dress and if you’re an atheist? you would end up in jail.

So, during my university orientation week, during her speech, this female professor told everyone to put on sunscreen because being out in the sun would make us look "dirty and ugly" if we got dark. And I was the darkest in the room! Talk about embarrassing. Like 3 or more people looked at me when she said it.

But, it’s just normal for me now. I mean, when I sit next to someone, I can feel them trying to distance themselves from me. It’s not like I don’t have self-respect or anything. It’s just how people are wired around here. It’s a cultural and generational thing that’s going to take ages to change, so I’ve learned not to let it bother me anymore. I just feel pity for them and move on.

I've got this simple rule I live by: if something I'm about to overreact to isn't going to change in a week or a month, why even stress about it? Like, seriously, getting all worked up is just a waste of energy when there’s no hope for a shift.

Imagine if I had flipped out and acted like a “drama queen” that day. I probably would’ve jeopardized my chances of getting into one of the top universities in my country. So, I think it’s super important to consider how your reactions now can impact your future. Is it even worth reacting? It just feels like a waste of time. People aren’t going to change overnight, it’s all rooted in their culture, upbringing and beliefs. And you might ask, “How’s anything going to change if you don’t speak out?” If you’re the only one or part of a small minority, speaking against it, nothing’s actually going to change. You’ll just end up losing a lot in the process.

But again, Social media is so easy to get offended over anything or bash others just because they got “offended”. It’s all about gaining sympathy and support from the crowd. There’s this weird satisfaction that comes from watching someone get torn apart by a community and it’s kind of ridiculous how that’s become the norm.

Like this stuff hardly ever happens in real life. If you acted like that in person, you’d look like a joker! I can’t stand people who get all “hurt” (more like their ego get bruised) over petty stuff and then make it their whole personality. It’s the victimhood and it’s exhausting to see.

Another thing that's hilarious is how people are complaining that others are just being "haters" when they're really just sharing their “hot takes” (because apparently you can’t share “hot takes” anymore). It’s crazy that we even need labels like "hot take," "unpopular opinion" or "controversial opinion." It just shows how fragile we’ve become as a society. I mean, can’t we just have opinions without wrapping them in bubble wrap? It’s like we’ve totally failed to live up to our title as the “intelligent species” on this planet. Seriously, the bar is so low right now.

But seriously, this whole hypersensitivity isn’t doing us any favours. We need to take a step back, chill out and understand that not everything is an attack on us. Like, just because someone disagrees doesn’t mean they’re personally offending you. If we want to move forward as a society, we got to get back to the basics of communication, where differences of opinion spark curiosity instead of outrage.

---

ps: If you find yourself getting worked up over the small stuff and overreacting, it might be time for a little self-reflection. And if this post hits a nerve? Just know I’m not calling anyone out specifically. Sure, I’m using ‘you,’ but tons of people are reading this, so it’s not about you personally. It might challenge your beliefs and if that bothers you, well sorry, not sorry you might need to do some soul-searching.

see!! even I’m offended by y’all getting offended. Guess that’s my cue to work more on my sensitivity :) Byeeeee