pretty now, not forever
why being "pretty" right now is just a trendy phase—trends always fade.
I’ve seen it. “I’m so pretty,” or “I’m hot, and they’re just jealous.” It’s like everyone’s racing to claim their spot in the beauty hierarchy. But let’s hit pause and really think about what it means to be “pretty” or “hot”. The obsession with looks is as fleeting as Tiktok trends. Beauty standards shift with every era—what’s attractive today might be outdated tomorrow.
When you call yourself pretty, you’re really just saying you fit the current beauty standards. But those standards are constantly changing. Look at history, what was attractive in the 1920s, 1950s or even the early 2000s isn’t the same as today. Marilyn Monroe was the epitome of beauty, with her curves and blonde hair. Fast forward a few decades and the ideal shifted to the waifish look of supermodels like Kate Moss in the ’90s. Now, we’re in the age of the “Instagram baddies”, with contouring, full lips, and thick brows. Beauty is a moving target. Today’s trends will fade, and something new will replace them.
Why do these beauty standards keep changing? Evolutionary plays a role here. Humans are drawn to traits that signal good health and fertility, symmetrical faces, clear skin, and certain body ratios have historically been linked to health and reproduction. But let’s be real, this sounds pretty superficial. We still see people who don't meet today's beauty standards living healthy lives and raising families.
Cultural influences are just as significant. Beauty varies across cultures and eras, shaped by social norms, media, and economic factors. In times of scarcity, fuller figures were seen as attractive because they signified wealth and survival. In contrast, during abundance thinner bodies represented self-control and discipline. So while biology may guide our preferences, cultural context defines them.
Social media globalizes beauty standards (wow they're everywhere). We’re bombarded with images of “perfect” people on platforms like Instagram and TikTok making us feel pressured to conform. Filters, editing tools and makeup trends constantly shift the ideal. One day it’s sharp cheekbones and matte lips, the next, dewy skin and natural brows. It’s a never ending cycle and keeping up with it can be exhausting. (and frustrating)
In my Southeast Asian country, Korean beauty standards have a huge influence due to the rise of K-pop. If you don’t have pale skin, specific facial features and a petite body, you’re often overlooked (or just ugly). This mix of beauty standards from different cultures creates a constantly evolving global ideal. But remember, this ideal is temporary.
There’s also the “halo effect,” where we assume that attractive people have other positive qualities like intelligence or kindness. (surprisingly, most of the nastiest people I've met are those who fit certain beauty standards and are full of themselves) This bias makes us overemphasize looks, treating them as “more important” than they are. And since beauty standards change, the halo effect is just another layer of the illusion that looks are everything.
Other than that, familiarity also affects our perception of beauty. We find features we see often more attractive because they become the norm. After years of seeing thick eyebrows everywhere, suddenly everyone wants them. It’s not that thick eyebrows are inherently more attractive, it’s just that they’ve become familiar through constant exposure.
So calling yourself “pretty” based on today’s standards is like chasing a temporary trend. You might fit the ideal now, but that doesn’t mean you will in the future. Instead of focusing on fitting the current mold of “pretty,” maybe it’s worth questioning why that mold exists and if it’s worth caring about. And most importantly, why do you care?
It’s funny when people make their appearance their whole personality and call it self-confidence. It’s like they’re pressured to be perfect according to ever changing standards. True self-confidence should come from within, not from meeting societal beauty standards. If you need to change yourself to fit a standard, it’s worth questioning what that’s all about and whether you are really confident in yourself.
Take me for example, I was bullied for my skin color. In a country obsessed with lighter skin, where whitening creams and treatments are everywhere, I could have changed myself to fit in. I even tried some products, but the lengths people go to for lighter skin are extreme and harmful. I chose not to conform. My confidence comes from within, my mind, my heart, not from meeting others’ beauty standards. Beauty fades, it’s part of nature. I refuse to live a life where I change myself for others’ superficial standards.
Colonialism didn’t just redraw maps, it reshaped beauty standards. European powers imposed their ideals, valuing lighter skin and western features as superior. This wasn’t just about appearance, it was about dominance and marginalizing local cultures. Today, many former colonies still internalize these western standards, perpetuated by media and the cosmetic industry. When someone praises lighter skin remember, it’s not just a personal preference but a remnant of colonial influence.
Also, pretty privilege is absurd (and unfair). Why do people who fit today’s beauty standards receive special treatment? Why is that even a thing? If an alien visited Earth, they’d probably be baffled by how superficial we are. Calling someone “beautiful” based on their looks alone is shallow. True beauty comes from how we treat others. Compliments should be about personality, not appearance. You’ll never catch me complimenting someone based on their looks. if I do, it’s always about who they are on the inside.
In the end, my beautiful people, beauty is unstable. What’s attractive today will likely be outdated tomorrow. Instead of chasing the fleeting ideal of “pretty,” question why that ideal exists and whether it’s worth pursuing.
Please, don’t go to extremes to change how you look. DON'T.
Today’s beauty might be tomorrow’s ugly.
ps: I can’t emphasize enough how the money we spend “maintaining beauty” is a massive scam.
I've been questioning the concept of 'pretty' ever since I was asked "Are they attractive or do they just have western features?" Also, glad you touched up on colorism and how dark-skin tones are, unfortunately, undervalued. My country of origin suffers from that as well with things like skin whitening/'bleaching' being common
I really liked this piece; I learned something new and have some more things to consider! This is a topic I think about from time to time and I feel it's not talked about as much as it should be
Why is complimenting someone on their looks a bad thing and shallow? I think cancelling it out gives rise to exclusion of our natural tendencies to feel charmed by the first layer of something we are met with.
It’s not sensible to hold an idea to completely abolish or even to have all our insecurities not exist. When we make peace with our imperfect human self(which isn’t still a destination) and that insecurities are bound to happen, it’s easier to lean to our everyday because we are seeing all the colours of spectrum.
I mean why can’t we have insecurities? Why should we be shameful to have any. Darker feelings compliment lighter ones. And feeling good that we don’t compliment someone on their looks makes the other party look like it’s wrong. It’s really not inherently wrong, is it? Why should we all cater to looking into someone’s personality? What’s the point of having an appearance and self-expression, then, right? And beauty isn’t unstable, but our perceptions of it are. beauty exists within all of us, it’s the lenses that surround it makes it difficult for us to see the truth.
I’m not trying to be a contrarian but I see there’s some sort of cancelling out in the way you expressed strong feelings and opinions yet, I agree with you that appearance inherently should never be the end goal or the premise of our worth.