I've been questioning the concept of 'pretty' ever since I was asked "Are they attractive or do they just have western features?" Also, glad you touched up on colorism and how dark-skin tones are, unfortunately, undervalued. My country of origin suffers from that as well with things like skin whitening/'bleaching' being common
I really liked this piece; I learned something new and have some more things to consider! This is a topic I think about from time to time and I feel it's not talked about as much as it should be
It’s definitely something that needs more attention. It’s just sad that people feel they have to change themselves to fit into some narrow idea of beauty.
Since it’s such a sensitive topic, we rarely see discussions like these that really make people stop and think. I’m glad you found the piece interesting 💕
These are the kinds of conversations that need to happen more often, so it’s nice to know it got you thinking. Thanks for reading ☺️
Why is complimenting someone on their looks a bad thing and shallow? I think cancelling it out gives rise to exclusion of our natural tendencies to feel charmed by the first layer of something we are met with.
It’s not sensible to hold an idea to completely abolish or even to have all our insecurities not exist. When we make peace with our imperfect human self(which isn’t still a destination) and that insecurities are bound to happen, it’s easier to lean to our everyday because we are seeing all the colours of spectrum.
I mean why can’t we have insecurities? Why should we be shameful to have any. Darker feelings compliment lighter ones. And feeling good that we don’t compliment someone on their looks makes the other party look like it’s wrong. It’s really not inherently wrong, is it? Why should we all cater to looking into someone’s personality? What’s the point of having an appearance and self-expression, then, right? And beauty isn’t unstable, but our perceptions of it are. beauty exists within all of us, it’s the lenses that surround it makes it difficult for us to see the truth.
I’m not trying to be a contrarian but I see there’s some sort of cancelling out in the way you expressed strong feelings and opinions yet, I agree with you that appearance inherently should never be the end goal or the premise of our worth.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!!! 🫶🏾 it’s definitely a deep topic with no easy answers. I totally get what you’re saying about insecurities being part of the human experience. But what bugs me is that we’ve kinda made up these insecurities when it comes to looks. Like we did that to ourselves by putting so much emphasis on appearance.
As someone who’s been judged for my looks 24/7 and lost opportunities because of it, I can say that the concept of beauty is totally messed up and it’s infecting people. It’s not just a small thing anymore, it’s shaping how we see ourselves and others in ways that aren’t healthy anymore.
Also, complimenting someone’s looks isn’t inherently wrong but in a world where looks are prioritized so much, it can reinforce the idea that they’re what matters most. And that’s what feeds into those insecurities even if we don’t mean to.
Beauty does exist in all of us but the way society has hyped up certain standards makes it feel like only certain types of beauty count. I guess my point is just questioning why we’ve set it up this way, where appearance has so much weight?!
thank you for sharing such an eye-opening post. it's heart-wrenching to realize how this mindset can weigh on many of us, and even more so to see how many are gripped by the fear of aging because of it.
It’s really tough to see how much pressure there is to look young and fit into these ever changing beauty standards. The fear of aging and losing that “prettiness” is something that weighs on a lot of people and it’s heartbreaking. Glad this post resonated with you, it’s so important to talk about these issues and recognize how damaging these mindsets can be. Thanks for taking the time to read and share your thoughts 💕💕
Appreciate the love on the flow 💕 I get that it's a trigger subject, so it's cool if we don’t see eye to eye on everything. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, always good to have different perspectives.
absolutely phenomenal piece! i learned a lot about historical beauty standards that i was previously unaware of and i appreciate the timeline walk-through, proving even more extensively that chasing temporary ideals is an ineffective use of time <3
i relate to this post! not personally, but seeing the girl back then in my class who got bullied because she has a difficult personality and wasn’t really that pretty in this modern world. but we also have this other girl in class who i think has the same personality as hers but my other classmates didn’t really mind about it. they even invite her all the time to parties and gatherings, but the other one who wasn’t that pretty and fit was constantly judged because she suddenly shows up to parties and gatherings. this is such an unfair move to take i think and i dont know if i ever have the power to change this.
That's sad. I wish I could say there's an easy way to change this but honestly, it's such a deep-rooted issue in how people perceive and judge others. 😔 But even just being aware of it, like you are, is a step in the right direction. If more people spoke up or showed kindness to those who are left out, maybe we could start to shift things a little. 🫶🏽 Thanks for sharing your thoughts!!! sometimes just talking about it helps, even if it’s just a small start.
Great post! I loved reading it. As a person I never judge a book by its cover. I'm not amazed by someone looks from the first time. Although, I believe that when you see something pretty you have to say it. I give compliments to everyone I can, even strangers on the street,the coffee shops, wherever I might be. I like to think that my compliment might light someone's day.
I 100% agree with you about beauty standards! I see that it's all a cycle. We see trends from the 80's,90's etc coming back. We can't change who we are to follow them every time.
Thank you so much 💓 I love that you spread positivity with compliments. Trends do come and go but personal style is forever. Appreciate your thoughts <33
I don’t know. If a girl takes the time to put on her face and even false eyelashes it’s attractive and we r drawn to beauty.
It’s nice to dress up to go out or go to church or whatever.
Someone said when they sell a woman lipstick they are selling her hope.
Once I was primping for a date and looked in the mirror and in anguish cried out” I wish I was better looking.” God told me immediately,” no, u are what you are for my glory. “
So if u are a young pretty girl thank God. If u are an older grey haired man and you don’t have 3 eyes thank God.
But a little hair gel and some deodorant never hurt.
I get where you’re coming from!! Everyone wants to feel good about themselves and there's nothing wrong with dressing up or using a bit of makeup if it boosts your confidence. But I think the deeper issue is when society makes us feel like we have to look a certain way to be valued. It’s great to take care of ourselves, but it’s also important to remember that our worth isn’t just about appearances. Appreciate your perspective 🫶🏽
Unfortunately, I don't think pretty privilege will go away as like you mentioned it's part of our biology to be attracted to certain features and facial symmetries. I do think, however, that we can question how we view conventionally attractive people in our lives. People often get upset when their favorite pretty influencers online are embroiled in drama or don't support a social cause, but we have to question - who put these people on a pedestal in the first place? I myself consciously try not to follow people or be friends with them for the sole merit of them being attractive. But it often does feel like the people around me want their friends groups to give off a certain "aesthetic" by only being friends with women who look like models.
You’ve nailed it !!! Pretty privilege is so deeply ingrained that it’s hard to imagine it disappearing completely. But questioning how we perceive and prioritize looks is a big step forward. I also get what you mean about the “aesthetic” friend groups too,it’s like people are more concerned with appearances than genuine connections. Thanks for sharing your perspective 💓💓
"In the end, my beautiful people, beauty is unstable. What’s attractive today will likely be outdated tomorrow. Instead of chasing the fleeting ideal of “pretty,” question why that ideal exists and whether it’s worth pursuing."
I'd never imagine a paragraph would help me more than anyone in my life. Wise words from a wise person. 💗
Sadly, the rise of social media influence and people spending an exponentially increasing amount of time on platforms like Instagram make it easier for the fleeting trends to emerge and fade away just like that. It has always been appalling to me how people are willing to outsource their agency and freedom so easily while preaching the values of liberty so loudly.
Absolutely!!! social media has really amplified this cycle of trends coming and going. It’s wild how quickly people latch onto these fleeting ideals, often without even realizing how much they’re giving up their own sense of self. The contradiction between valuing personal freedom and then letting platforms dictate what’s “in” or “out” is pretty shocking. Thanks for bringing this up, it’s definitely something more people should be aware of ☺️☺️
Wow, you and your posts are so awesome and excellent to read. I love it the way you've comprehended about the trends by providing the best examples. Lovely, always worth my time.
Ahhhh LOVE!! 😍 this is a topic I feel on another level as I would say I’m not ‘conventionally pretty’ but I prefer being my own weird and silly version of pretty over what society loves nowadays. To more unique beauty forever and always 🫶🏻
Ahhh thank you!! Halima 😍 Being "conventionally pretty" is overrated honestly. Embracing our own weird, silly, unique kind of beauty is what makes us stand out 😘 Cheers to more unique beauty, forever and always 🫶🏾🫶🏾
I've been questioning the concept of 'pretty' ever since I was asked "Are they attractive or do they just have western features?" Also, glad you touched up on colorism and how dark-skin tones are, unfortunately, undervalued. My country of origin suffers from that as well with things like skin whitening/'bleaching' being common
I really liked this piece; I learned something new and have some more things to consider! This is a topic I think about from time to time and I feel it's not talked about as much as it should be
Thank you so much for sharing that 🫶🏾
It’s definitely something that needs more attention. It’s just sad that people feel they have to change themselves to fit into some narrow idea of beauty.
Since it’s such a sensitive topic, we rarely see discussions like these that really make people stop and think. I’m glad you found the piece interesting 💕
These are the kinds of conversations that need to happen more often, so it’s nice to know it got you thinking. Thanks for reading ☺️
Why is complimenting someone on their looks a bad thing and shallow? I think cancelling it out gives rise to exclusion of our natural tendencies to feel charmed by the first layer of something we are met with.
It’s not sensible to hold an idea to completely abolish or even to have all our insecurities not exist. When we make peace with our imperfect human self(which isn’t still a destination) and that insecurities are bound to happen, it’s easier to lean to our everyday because we are seeing all the colours of spectrum.
I mean why can’t we have insecurities? Why should we be shameful to have any. Darker feelings compliment lighter ones. And feeling good that we don’t compliment someone on their looks makes the other party look like it’s wrong. It’s really not inherently wrong, is it? Why should we all cater to looking into someone’s personality? What’s the point of having an appearance and self-expression, then, right? And beauty isn’t unstable, but our perceptions of it are. beauty exists within all of us, it’s the lenses that surround it makes it difficult for us to see the truth.
I’m not trying to be a contrarian but I see there’s some sort of cancelling out in the way you expressed strong feelings and opinions yet, I agree with you that appearance inherently should never be the end goal or the premise of our worth.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!!! 🫶🏾 it’s definitely a deep topic with no easy answers. I totally get what you’re saying about insecurities being part of the human experience. But what bugs me is that we’ve kinda made up these insecurities when it comes to looks. Like we did that to ourselves by putting so much emphasis on appearance.
As someone who’s been judged for my looks 24/7 and lost opportunities because of it, I can say that the concept of beauty is totally messed up and it’s infecting people. It’s not just a small thing anymore, it’s shaping how we see ourselves and others in ways that aren’t healthy anymore.
Also, complimenting someone’s looks isn’t inherently wrong but in a world where looks are prioritized so much, it can reinforce the idea that they’re what matters most. And that’s what feeds into those insecurities even if we don’t mean to.
Beauty does exist in all of us but the way society has hyped up certain standards makes it feel like only certain types of beauty count. I guess my point is just questioning why we’ve set it up this way, where appearance has so much weight?!
Appreciate your thoughts on this <33
thank you for sharing such an eye-opening post. it's heart-wrenching to realize how this mindset can weigh on many of us, and even more so to see how many are gripped by the fear of aging because of it.
Thank you for the kind words Daphne 🥺
It’s really tough to see how much pressure there is to look young and fit into these ever changing beauty standards. The fear of aging and losing that “prettiness” is something that weighs on a lot of people and it’s heartbreaking. Glad this post resonated with you, it’s so important to talk about these issues and recognize how damaging these mindsets can be. Thanks for taking the time to read and share your thoughts 💕💕
Good flow...what I like about you best. But, I agree and disagree on various points.
Trigger subject.
Appreciate the love on the flow 💕 I get that it's a trigger subject, so it's cool if we don’t see eye to eye on everything. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, always good to have different perspectives.
absolutely phenomenal piece! i learned a lot about historical beauty standards that i was previously unaware of and i appreciate the timeline walk-through, proving even more extensively that chasing temporary ideals is an ineffective use of time <3
Thank you so much for reading <3 I'm so glad 💕
i relate to this post! not personally, but seeing the girl back then in my class who got bullied because she has a difficult personality and wasn’t really that pretty in this modern world. but we also have this other girl in class who i think has the same personality as hers but my other classmates didn’t really mind about it. they even invite her all the time to parties and gatherings, but the other one who wasn’t that pretty and fit was constantly judged because she suddenly shows up to parties and gatherings. this is such an unfair move to take i think and i dont know if i ever have the power to change this.
That's sad. I wish I could say there's an easy way to change this but honestly, it's such a deep-rooted issue in how people perceive and judge others. 😔 But even just being aware of it, like you are, is a step in the right direction. If more people spoke up or showed kindness to those who are left out, maybe we could start to shift things a little. 🫶🏽 Thanks for sharing your thoughts!!! sometimes just talking about it helps, even if it’s just a small start.
incredibleeeee piece!!!
Thank you so much for reading 🥹
Great post! I loved reading it. As a person I never judge a book by its cover. I'm not amazed by someone looks from the first time. Although, I believe that when you see something pretty you have to say it. I give compliments to everyone I can, even strangers on the street,the coffee shops, wherever I might be. I like to think that my compliment might light someone's day.
I 100% agree with you about beauty standards! I see that it's all a cycle. We see trends from the 80's,90's etc coming back. We can't change who we are to follow them every time.
Personal style will always be in style 😌
Thank you so much 💓 I love that you spread positivity with compliments. Trends do come and go but personal style is forever. Appreciate your thoughts <33
I don’t know. If a girl takes the time to put on her face and even false eyelashes it’s attractive and we r drawn to beauty.
It’s nice to dress up to go out or go to church or whatever.
Someone said when they sell a woman lipstick they are selling her hope.
Once I was primping for a date and looked in the mirror and in anguish cried out” I wish I was better looking.” God told me immediately,” no, u are what you are for my glory. “
So if u are a young pretty girl thank God. If u are an older grey haired man and you don’t have 3 eyes thank God.
But a little hair gel and some deodorant never hurt.
I get where you’re coming from!! Everyone wants to feel good about themselves and there's nothing wrong with dressing up or using a bit of makeup if it boosts your confidence. But I think the deeper issue is when society makes us feel like we have to look a certain way to be valued. It’s great to take care of ourselves, but it’s also important to remember that our worth isn’t just about appearances. Appreciate your perspective 🫶🏽
Janu I love this!! Everything seems so thoughtful and thought out. This topic is something not talked about enough
It’s definitely a topic that needs more conversation and I’m happy to contribute to that. Thank you so much for reading 🥹
Unfortunately, I don't think pretty privilege will go away as like you mentioned it's part of our biology to be attracted to certain features and facial symmetries. I do think, however, that we can question how we view conventionally attractive people in our lives. People often get upset when their favorite pretty influencers online are embroiled in drama or don't support a social cause, but we have to question - who put these people on a pedestal in the first place? I myself consciously try not to follow people or be friends with them for the sole merit of them being attractive. But it often does feel like the people around me want their friends groups to give off a certain "aesthetic" by only being friends with women who look like models.
You’ve nailed it !!! Pretty privilege is so deeply ingrained that it’s hard to imagine it disappearing completely. But questioning how we perceive and prioritize looks is a big step forward. I also get what you mean about the “aesthetic” friend groups too,it’s like people are more concerned with appearances than genuine connections. Thanks for sharing your perspective 💓💓
"In the end, my beautiful people, beauty is unstable. What’s attractive today will likely be outdated tomorrow. Instead of chasing the fleeting ideal of “pretty,” question why that ideal exists and whether it’s worth pursuing."
I'd never imagine a paragraph would help me more than anyone in my life. Wise words from a wise person. 💗
omg i'm so glad 🥹 Thank you so much for reading and being so sweet <33
Agree with you dear 👏🏻🙏🏻👍🏻 Today's BEAUTY might be tomorrow's Ugly 👸🏻
Sadly, the rise of social media influence and people spending an exponentially increasing amount of time on platforms like Instagram make it easier for the fleeting trends to emerge and fade away just like that. It has always been appalling to me how people are willing to outsource their agency and freedom so easily while preaching the values of liberty so loudly.
Absolutely!!! social media has really amplified this cycle of trends coming and going. It’s wild how quickly people latch onto these fleeting ideals, often without even realizing how much they’re giving up their own sense of self. The contradiction between valuing personal freedom and then letting platforms dictate what’s “in” or “out” is pretty shocking. Thanks for bringing this up, it’s definitely something more people should be aware of ☺️☺️
Wow, you and your posts are so awesome and excellent to read. I love it the way you've comprehended about the trends by providing the best examples. Lovely, always worth my time.
Ahhhh thank you so much Shaikh! Means a lot that you find them worth your time. 💕💕
Ahhhh LOVE!! 😍 this is a topic I feel on another level as I would say I’m not ‘conventionally pretty’ but I prefer being my own weird and silly version of pretty over what society loves nowadays. To more unique beauty forever and always 🫶🏻
Ahhh thank you!! Halima 😍 Being "conventionally pretty" is overrated honestly. Embracing our own weird, silly, unique kind of beauty is what makes us stand out 😘 Cheers to more unique beauty, forever and always 🫶🏾🫶🏾
Damn right!! Cheers to that 😘🫶🏻